Tom Waits, OKCupid.com.. and everything in between.

Ok.. I’m going to be honest with you guys.. I’ve been a little embarrassed about it.. I’ve even felt a little ashamed. At the end of the day though, there really isn’t any reason to feel these things. It’s normal.. it’s even common.. I guess we couldn’t say that it happens to everybody.. but I think eventually it will happen to most.. I made a profile on an online dating site. There I said it.. it’s off my chest and I’m hiding no longer.. the cat is out of the bag.. the can has opened and there are beans EVERYWHERE! The site is called OKCupid.com and my screen-name is moonman84. If you feel inclined, go check it out…maybe even send me a wink…or an award…I won’t be embarrassed and neither should you. 

Ok.. so first off, you may ask why am I on at site like OKCupid.com.. but more importantly you may ask why I decided to tell the world about it..in the form of a blog post, and third you may ask what Tom Waits has anything to do with this.. well I will touch on those right now. In fact the reason for this post has everything to do with Tom Waits… please continue reading…

Subject #1 - The reason I joined OKCupid.com

This is pretty simple.. dating in LA isn’t easy. Especially when you are in your 20’s.. early, mid, or even late…and trying to figure out what path you want to make for yourself. Nobody comes to LA to settle down and have a family.. they come here because its an exciting city, full of opportunities and possibilities. At the end of the day, it’s a pretty selfish place because everyone is here for themselves.. to advance to the next level.. to make a name.. to be a star.. or whatever it is that drives you. I’m not saying that is bad in any way, shape, or form.. but I am saying that it definitely makes it difficult to find someone that you are actually into, and who is actually into you as well (that’s key).. and has a similar schedule, and is in an area that geographically convenient for your lifestyle. (We all know how shitty LA can seem when you are behind the wheel of a car.. or you are trying to find a place to put your car for the night…or basically anything that is even remotely related to moving from one place in the city to another..it’s NOT FUN!) Point being.. the odds are stacked against you in the first place. I mean, it’s not hard to meet a girl in this city… but it is hard to meet a girl that falls into all the categories I mentioned above. 

So basically to sum up this topic.. I joined because I wanted to open up my options. I want to meet new people who can show me new places and teach me new things.. and hopefully add to an overall pretty cool life that I have going right now. Why limit yourself right? I’ve met and dated some amazing girls in the past 4 years.. but for one reason or another, none of them ended up really working out.. it happens. Some I really, really, REALLY wanted to pan out into something that was lasting.. and others I knew fairly quickly that it wasn’t ever going to. But overall, I really tried to not be bummed about any of them because I’m a firm believer in a quote my Mom used to drill into my brain as a kid.. and teenager.. and actually she still says it to me almost every time I talk to her! "Everything happens for a reason." <— that is so true on so many levels. Good always comes from bad.. sometimes you just have to make more of an effort to find it. 

Subject #2 - Tom Waits, and why I am writing this

During my lunch break today, I got an email notifying me that moonman84 had received a new message on OKC..hurray! Now if you have read or are going to read by profile.. you will notice that Tom Waits is mentioned a couple times.. what can I say? I am a TOM WAITS FAN. Anyways, this sweet girl picked up on this and mentioned that she isn’t really familiar with Tom, but she knows the tune “What’s He Building In There?” She said that every time someone says “what’s going on?” she hears that in her head. She then asked me what his music was like. I was pretty impressed that she was familiar with that song.. because it happens to fall on one of my favorite albums.. and so I decided that her message most definitely deserved a reply.. and I gave her one.. right from the head and the heart. If Tom is the subject.. I’m leading the conversation. So I get done writing this really descriptive, creative response and I was pretty proud of myself. I felt like I nailed it.. I summed up Tom Waits’ career by comparing it to circus freaks and crumpled up packs of cigarettes. Once I finished, I thought.. “I really want to share this with the world.. even if no one gives two shits about it.. I need to do this for myself.” The next thing I did was try to figure out how I could post my excellent description of Tom Waits career on this here blog without mentioning that it all came from a site that I was so embarrassed to be on, I would actually go into “Private Browsing” mode on Safari so that it wouldn’t end up showing up on my recently visited websites list…on MY OWN PERSONAL LAPTOP! 

….and that’s when it hit me… like a ton of bricks to my left ear… what the hell am I hiding from? Why can’t I just be honest with myself and everyone else? I’d be able to get it off my chest.. which would make me feel pretty good.. and it’s really not that embarrassing in the first place. So there you have it.. I’ve reached the end of what I had to say. I’m on a dating site, I’m no longer embarrassed, and I’m a fan of Tom Waits. Done and done. 

Subject #3 - The Main Event

I’m sure if you have made it this far.. you are curious to read the email that got all my wheels turning.. so here it is. This is exactly what I sent to the girl.. I make no apologies for my spelling and grammatical errors because this is my blog… and my finger make a lot of mistakes.

Haha.. classic tune!! Tom has changed quite a lot over the years.. he’s been around since the early 70’s. Back then his music sounded like a smokey, dark jazz lounge.. where the bartender was an old, balding asshole.. and the cocktail waitresses were all scantily clad. Mid-career… he went off in quite a different direction… throughout the 80’s and 90’s his music sounded like a circus.. but not the kind of circus with flying trapeze artists or elephants walking through rings of fire.. we are talking the dirty, rickety kind where the main attraction was the bearded lady and 3 headed frog.. freak show style. In ‘99, he released Mule Variation (which is the home to “What’s He Building In There?”) and it was stellar beyond belief. It started an entirely new direction for him.. which he is still taking right now..give or take a few slight turns here and there. This overall new directions is my favorite though.. It sounds like a busted-up, old, rusty Ford pickup truck from 1951.. the wheels are about to fall off at any moment, the oil hasn’t been changed in years…nothing really works all that well…if at all. But there is a pack of crumpled cigarettes on the ripped-up bench seat and a flask full of Kentucky bourbon in the glove box… so you don’t really care where you are going or how fast you will get there.. because what does it matter anyways? It’s what happens along the way that counts. 

There is your Tom Waits lesson for the day ;) 

Jonny

In conclusion, I don’t expect this blog to do anymore more than make me feel good about something that I didn’t feel good about before. But, if you are in the same boat as I was… let yourself go… open up… be proud and confident in who you are and what you are doing with your life. At the end of the day… if we can’t be happy with ourselves, we will never be able to be truly happy with anything in life. 

Jonny

10 notes, September 8, 2011

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